No Rain, No Rainbow

Greetings Tumblr!
It has been many months since we last spoke, and for that I’m thankful.

It’s currently 1.54am. I’m up for college in 4 hours and 6 minutes. I’m shattered. And I can’t FUCKING sleep!!
My poor wee brain is in overdrive tonight contemplating something I don’t often think about. The future…
Even ask my girlfriend about how much I don’t think about the future. I just don’t really.
So its typical that at what is now 1.57am I find myself having installed Tumblr to my phone once again to write some meaningless status in the hopes that my brain will get a grip of itself and shut down for a few hours, cos lord knows I need sleep (and probably some hard liquor) to get me through the next few weeks of college.

It’s Graded Unit time at college. Mines started off bad, and is only continuing to get worse. It’s made no progress, I’m missing deadlines, ive got 4 weeks to finish it, and ultimately I just don’t give a fuck. I’m un-inspired. College is now boring me.
All that is keeping me going is the banter and my radio show (Monument, every Tuesday from half 5 to 6.15pm on City Radio) - smooth plug there ;)

I decided to not bother with Uni. While I don’t totally regret the decision, I can’t help but think that having a degree sounds nice. It’s something that really shows people you’ve made an effort as well which is nice, as I’d hate to think that people assume I’ve wasted 3 years of my life at college all because I never got a degree…

The future is meant to be exciting and such. But in all honesty, the future looks tough. I need to find a job, or a career of some sort. Get some money, learn to drive, get a car, get a flat, treat my girlfriend to nice things, and generally just find something to do that’ll keep me quite happy and content. It’s a lot of work.
It doesn’t help that the general future for the country, and indeed mankind looks bleak. The news us constantly evolving to deliver to us more twisted, fucked up, despicable stories that make me want to take a hot bath with a straight razor, and open up my veins! Well, not quite, I just thought that was a good line, but it is actually a bit frightening I even thought ‘aw, that’ll be a good line’…

But the point is, I think… Is that I’m just lacking any real motivation or inspiration. I haven’t felt particularly creative or anything recently, which is tough for me considering I’m not particularly good at anything… except Battlefield 3, ive been doing pretty well at that recently!
It’s hard to think about the future and see that you have no idea what you’re gonna do, and how you’re going to do it.
I think what I need, probably more so once college is over, is something to dedicate my time to that I enjoy! If I can find a way to keep my radio show going, I’d be chuffed! If I could review music, or do something with music, and actually have people pay attention and give a fuck, I’d be delighted! And if I can finally started a band I’d be over the moon!

So i dunno. Maybe I do know what I want from life… well, at this point anyway, am I fuck looking any further forwards than the next few years, my mind will melt!

That is now 2.25 in the am. I think its about time I tried to sleep again.
Catch ye! X

Wish I could come up with something interesting to talk about.

When I’m feeling brave enough to go through with it. Getting this on my left arm.
(Minus the bit saying ‘The Black Dahlia Murder’)

When I’m feeling brave enough to go through with it. Getting this on my left arm.

(Minus the bit saying ‘The Black Dahlia Murder’)





Listening to angry music that makes me think, and question. You just don’t get that with an un-intelligent, un-interesting, terribly written pop song.


Later today (Monday 29/11/11) at 5:30pm, I will be presenting the first episode of my weekly online radio show; ‘Monument’.

I done the show last year, at first with a companion, but after a couple of weeks, I was doing it solo. Last year I didn’t particularly care about it. I enjoyed doing it, and it was a definite highlight to the year, but I made no real effort.

I didn’t care about listeners, content, quality of songs or anything.

But this year I feel the need to make more effort.

I think it’s a combination of ‘I’ve spent 3 years studying radio… I should probably produce something that will help get me a job’, and that people and organisations have informed me that they will actually be listening…

I’m actually sort of stunned at how nervous this makes me. Doing a radio show, you’d think I’d be completely calm about it all, considering that people listening to radio, is sort of the purpose of it all.

PR company’s have been sending me singles/albums and such to be aired on the show, and offering me some form of advertising to people of their mailing lists… that is kind of a big thing for me, especially for a one man student radio show that plays fairly heavy music, and has a near 0% audience.

Along with that classmates, friends, and family have all said that they will check it out. This is maybe the most nerve-wracking part because these people actually know me. IF it’s shite, then they’ll be like, ‘wow, he’s shite at radio’, or I’ll get the ‘that was really good Connor!’ while they are actually thinking, ‘God that was awful.

So hopefully I don’t disappoint anyone listening, or myself…

The sad realisation…

That I am uninteresting, and have nothing worth sharing with people on this.

This is not meant to be a sad, attention-seeking post for the sake of boosting my own sense of worth. This is just me finally posting something after half an hour of typing, and deleting, before realising that, all I was doing was talking about myself. Which is strange, as I wouldn’t consider myself particularly egotistical or vain, but I doubt many people do consider themselves that.

I simply need to find something worth writing about, that isn’t me, and is hopefully worth reading…

Wish me luck x


So over the last few days i’ve been really ill. From (unluckily) the day of my birthday onwards. Even though i’m not a big fan of birthday’s, it would of nice to not of been violently sick without at least the excuse of a good bevvy.

For ages i have been thinking of the future and what i really…

Kinda feeling the same this year man. Feel like I’m potentially wasting a year, that could of been better spent :/
Hope ye get better soon as well though, class is quiet without you :) x


‘One day in early Spring, a father took his youngest son on a trip to the country with the firm intention of showing him how poor some people can be. They spent a single day and night away from their home, and visited a very poor family living in a makeshift home in a field. When they returned, the father asked his son, “Did you enjoy our trip?” “I did father, i think i understand now,” he replied. “Have you come to learn how poor some people can be son?” the father asked. “I think so, I think i have Father.” “And what did you learn?” asked the father. The son answered, “I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the yard, they have a creek which has no end. We have imported lamps to light our garden, and they have all the stars in the sky. Our patio reaches into our front yards, but the have the entire horizon.” When the little boy had finished, his father was speechless. His son added, “Thankyou Father, for showing me how poor we really are.”